Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership

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Sweet Dreams, Chris

Posted by stephanie at 4th May, 2009

by Leighann Lord (Woodhull Alumna)

Are the rumors true? Are Chris Brown and Rihanna back together after he so brutally assaulted her? I hope not but they are both rich, famous adults who can do what they want. All the rest of us in the Greek Chorus get to do is nit pick over the sordid details.


The Chorus is genuinely angry that Rihanna would go back to Chris, but studies show domestic violence victims find it difficult to leave their abusers. Just look at how many of us stayed in America during the Bush years. Our civil liberties took quite a beating from The Patriot Act. Oh sure we compensated by going on more vacations and moving record amounts of moolah to the Caymans, but very few pulled up permanent stakes. Me? I kept an overnight bag packed and my passport current.

The one person who really needs to be asking why Rihanna is getting back together with Chris Brown, is Chris Brown. Is it love? Maybe. But love should have kept Mr. Double Your Pleasure’s hands on the wheel of his Lamborghini. So clearly, love is not enough.

Chris needs to understand something about women. I don’t care how many prayers we pray, how many tears we shed, how many candles we light: Women Hold Grudges. We harbor, brood and ruminate. We do not know how to let things go. We may forgive, but we never forget.

The simple fact is, no matter how big and strong a man is, he still has to go to sleep. How soundly can he slumber next to a woman he has physically hurt and publicly humiliated? How quickly we forget the cautionary tale of John & Lorena Bobbit. Her name still sends chills down the spines of spineless men. How long can a man sleep with one eye open? Does Chris really want to be communing with Morpheus if and when Rihanna snaps?

There is no consensus in the Chorus. Some say stay, but only if they both get therapy. Some say go and a good riddance. I am with the latter. If Rihanna is not safe, neither is Chris. If I were Rihanna, I’d keep my umbrella cocked and ready. If I were Chris Brown, I’d start getting nervous if Rihanna’s new favorite flick is the Jennifer Lopez movie “Enough.” But I’m just nit picking.

© 2009 Leighann Lord (Woodhull Alumna)

About stephanie

Stephanie Kirby has written 38 articles on this blog.

Category : News

3 Responses to “Sweet Dreams, Chris”

  1. Courtney says:

    “Women Hold Grudges. We harbor, brood and ruminate. We do not know how to let things go. ”

    I’m not crazy about essentializing all women in this way. I certainly strive to forgive. Forgiving, of course, doesn’t mean putting ourselves in harm’s way or tolerating violence in our lives, but I don’t think bitterness or brooding serves us and, further, I don’t see that as a particularly female problem. It’s a human problem.

  2. Margot Magowan says:

    I was happy to see Oprah call it out: that men who abuse will repeat. It is a horrible story but bringing national attention to domestic violence and realizing it can happen to anyone is important. Also, I don’t think the term “domestic” violence is that useful, it just softens it– just call it violence and just call sexual assault “assault”

  3. Lisa Hix says:

    As tempting as it is to suggest fighting violence with violence, I am uncomfortable with talk of castration and Chris Brown sleeping with one eye open. Yes, Rihanna probably has strength inside her Brown is unaware of. Every woman should know how to defend herself, but that said, retaliating with an “eye for an eye” mentality that turns men into victims doesn’t feel like the right solution to me..

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